Motherless, rootless, and unprotected, Jude Williams childhood is fractured by the horror and experience of sexual abuse, forcing her to exist somewhere and nowhere in between childhood and adulthood Caught within the limitations of her own language and trapped within a family secret, Jude becomes the consequence of her mother s tragedy As she moves through the 1980s, JMotherless, rootless, and unprotected, Jude Williams childhood is fractured by the horror and experience of sexual abuse, forcing her to exist somewhere and nowhere in between childhood and adulthood Caught within the limitations of her own language and trapped within a family secret, Jude becomes the consequence of her mother s tragedy As she moves through the 1980s, Jude s life is buffeted by choice and destiny and she collects experiences that layer her personal tragedy and plunge her into the darkest of worlds.
In Search Of Adam Motherless rootless and unprotected Jude Williams childhood is fractured by the horror and experience of sexual abuse forcing her to exist somewhere and nowhere in between childhood and adulthood
There is something self indulgently harrowing about this book I ve read enough fictional stories of abuse and neglect including fiction based on auto biographical accounts to be able to determine the ones that have something important or true to say, but Caroline Smailes, in In Search of Adam spends too much time layering the misery on with a trowel, then attempts to disguise the heavy handedness with some tricks of layout and repetition Indeed, the author tries very hard to make artwork of a ch [...]
I have a big problem with formatting that deviates from the standard type set and font That being said, I was probably doomed going into this book, which takes lots of liberty with layout, using different text sizes, floofy fonts, and weird on the page arrangement to emphasize the scattered, confused mind of an abused young girl The conceit of the novel was interesting, but in the end, completely maddening It was a long slog toward an unfulfilling and predictable conclusion I don t usually rally [...]
i dont think i am ever going to finish this book it s simply too dark , too miserable for my taste
My first reaction to this short book was that it was miserable Too miserable and I ve read a lot of miserable books Child rape, suicide, poverty, physical abuseyou get the idea I wouldn t exactly call this book an enjoyable read and I was becoming increasingly put off However, my opinion was changed once I skimmed through the Thoughts sections, where it becomes apparent that the book was possibly biographical The story of a woman the author had met It hit me then that we shouldn t just shy away [...]
I savored this book slowly It s a heart wrenching story, which I needed to read in small doses, but it s a story that needs to be told and Smailes tells it well I was fascinated by her use of font and experimentation with grammar and thought she used it to good effect Highly recommended.
This is Jude s story blew me away s distressing and difficult and the story of unbelievable horror, I read it with tears streaming down my face,so it s not one for the faint hearted.Extremely well written in a very unique style
Terrible book, a bit like a car crash You keep waiting for the happy ending, but instead you get the author trying to be all modern, or post modern, or something like that, and it doesn t work, it doesn t make sense, and it pisses you off that you bothered to read that far.
As I started reading this book, I actually wondered whether it was really my thing and whether is was worth starting However, that soon changed I was so quickly drawn in to this story,,,,, in to this child s world And there were times I smiled for her, but most of the time my heart was torn I went through such waves of emotion anger at neighbours, parents, strangers, teachers, life but not a destructive anger, an anger that made remember why I stand up for the underdog and why we have a responsi [...]
Not sure how I feel about this desperately sad story but I finished it.
I picked this up as someone I m following gave it a high rating, and it sounded rather intriguing, although definitely not an easy read.Jude s life is tinged with tragedy from an early age she is just 6 years old when she finds her mother after she has committed suicide This devastating event obviously has a huge effect on Jude s life, that of her father and of their relationship and life together.Jude tells noone of the note that she found with her mother that explained she had gone to search f [...]
When she is seven years old, Jude finds her mother dead from an overdose.A bottle of pills lay scattered on the bedside table and there is a note Jude approaches her mother carefully, slowly The note says Jude, I have gone in search of Adam I love you baby.Jude doesn t understand She climbs into bed with her dead mother and curls up beside her, taking in the last of her mother s warmth Taking in the last of her mother She does not understand that her mother can t come back She doesn t understand [...]
I don t think I ve ever been so unsure about how I feel about a book before There was a lot I hated about it but it was really compelling and I found myself enjoying the read I suppose I felt there had to be a reward after putting up with the typos and irritating writing style, and half expected the typos might be deliberate The darkness and grittiness of Jude s situation was the compelling part Judging by the author s QA of sorts in the back of the book, it would seem she often gets asked wheth [...]
Jude, I have gone in search of Adam I love you baby.I didn t understand But I took the note It was mine I shoved it into the pocket of my grey school skirt I crumpled it in Then Jude is just six years old four months and two days when she discovers the lifeless body of her mother It shatters her young life and the hurt train keeps on coming.Her father farms Jude off to various neighbours after the death of his wife while he begins a new relationship with Rita One of these neighbours is Aunt Magg [...]
From nikperring So I ve had In Search of Adam, by the lovely and stupidly talented Caroline Smailes for, umm, just over a year And I ve only just read it.My excuse, as is often the case, is when it s something I ve a fair idea I ll love, I want to put it off until I find the time where I can enjoy it properly And here s the thing when it s a good book, when it IS something I love, I DO find the time.And love In Search of Adam I did So very much.Jude s only six years old when she finds her mother [...]
I found this to be a disturbing, extremely gritty and upsetting read That is no bad thing in my opinion, I am one of those weird people who actually enjoy being disturbed and upset while reading but even I have to admit that this is possibly one of the saddest, darkest books I have ever come across and this made it a VERY difficult book to read It s written in an interesting way, the use of punctuation and paragraphs is unconventional and different and for some readers I can imagine it can be di [...]
A good read, although it doesn t feel quite right to say an enjoyable read There were things I liked about this book, and things I didn t I liked the use of changing typefaces and general font trickery I think it added rather than detracted from the tone of the novel and helped to convey the different things going through the central characters head I liked the chronological approach it reminded me of Tatty I liked the earlier portions of the novel, when Jude was younger, despite the fact that t [...]
Given the synopsis I certainly wasn t expecting a happy read In Search of Adam is a tough read because it can be incredibly graphic I think the writing is the strength in this book Jude s story is told very simply, but in an utterly believable way My heart immediately went out to Jude and I just wanted things to get better for her It is distressing, so I don t think this book is for everyone I think what was particularly interesting was the way in which Caroline Smailes played with language to h [...]
If I am honest I bought this book because Caroline Smailes is a local author I had not bothered to read the blurb, or even to find out what this book was about in any way whatsoever I literally picked this book because of who the author isd I m glad I did.This story follows Jude who starts out as a 6 7 year old child when her mother commits suicide Jude is the one who finds her mothers body The rest of the story revolves around Jude as she grows up, deals with denial, a new step mother, violence [...]
I picked this up as a freebie on my Kindle ages ago and stored it away in my Freebies folder meaning to read it some day So glad I did, for this is an extraordinary book, even so when you realise it is the author s debut novel In Search of Adam isn t an easy read it deals with child abuse, paedophilia, mental health issues and much However, the characters are incredibly strong and though this is presumably fictional, you just know that all over the country world there are kids going through ex [...]
Judging by the reviews, some people seem to miss the point of this book It is a very tough read but it s one that should be pushed upon every adult in the country The issues in this book are very real There are many abused children in our midst My hope is that this extremely well written novel makes each of us aware and alert Many children don t have a voice Many children just like Jude Another important point is that bereavement in children is very often overlooked which can have far reaching [...]
A harrowing, heartbreaking tale of a young girl dealing with the death of a parent, paedophilia, abuse, neglect, mental illness, prostitution I wanted a happy ending for her, I kept waiting for her to rise up from all the pain, but the terribly sad ending suited the story, and really, nothing else would have fitted I found the style original written in the first person, through the eyes and limited vocabulary of the girl, it was moving and allowed the author to play around with grammatical rules [...]
A disturbing and moving tale 6 year old Jude wakes one morning to find her mother has committed suicide and left her a note saying she has gone in search of Adam not understanding what has happened or who Adam is, Jude s life begins a downward spiral as she suffers a variety of setbacks, including sexual and emotional abuse from people she should be able to rely on Certainly not a feel good read but an excellent and gripping read nonetheless 8 10.
The story is told using Jude s voice Jude is six at the start of the story and a young adult at the end I felt that I really did get inside her mind at the same time as wishing from an observer s perspective that she hadn t been failed by so many people and systems It was dark as some reviewers have said, but the subject matter meant that was pretty much an inevitability The ending is equally inevitable unfortunately but absolutely right there was nowhere else for it to go.
I really wanted to love this book It had everything I could ask for, butI felt myself falling into a heart breaking melancholic state of mind Even after a fine day my spirit would drop and my eyes burn with dry tears It opened up Pandora s box and revealed things that were perhaps best forgotten It left me feeling raped.The book feels very real and somehow important to finish but then once I wondered if the author hadn t gone too far.
This is a tear jerker of a book I genuinely couldn t read it last thing at night as it is just too sad.I m not a fan of what I term miserylit, but there is nothing sensationalist or voyeuristic about this It s simply the tragic story of a neglected and deeply unhappy little girl as she tries to find out who and where is Adam, and why her mother has gone looking for him.
I thought thatIn Search of Adamwas an outstanding story, a wake up call and an unforgettable experience I see people leaving comments like You keep waiting for the happy ending All I can say is life isn t a fairytale for everyone, not every story has a happy ending.
I Started to read this just going by the Blurb and got 8%of the way through Too Dark for me, Couldnt Finish Although i was curious how this character ends up And also curious what in search of Adam was in reference too I Only read a tiny bit but i did like the way the writer told the story, easy to feel exactly how the character Jude felt.
As hard going as I found the content, I had a feeling it was based on a true story and so wanted to finish it to see if she d be okay after such a dreadful childhood Gripping, sad, awful, stomach turning, I never want to read another book of this genre Castration would be too good for Uncle Eddie I don t know what else to say really, it s just tragic.
I was very unsure of this book The plot is fabulous but the way it was written was not for me I understand the main character Jude had a mental illness but I couldn t get into her way of thinking The story left me feeling sad and uncomfortable Having said that I would give another book by this author a try.
Interesting writing style and addictive I think it s cute and sad at the same time Hopefully it would help others Opens our eyes to how many missed opportunities there are to help those in need